Dear Mike,
I’m sorry this comes so late in the day but I slept in. Don’t worry; it’s nothing serious, just a case of the post-holiday blahs. Let me be the first to congratulate you on your victory in Iowa. You now sit atop the teeming pile of Republican presidential candidates and I hope you’re enjoying the view, but I must warn you, Arizona approaches, and Arizona, as I’m sure you already know, is Sean “CF” Murphy territory. If you think it’ll be a cakewalk rolling over me like you did over that Mitch Rommel guy, you’ve got another thing coming.
Mr. Huckabee, you say that you’re a man of faith and you fear God more than anything else. Well, I’m even more afraid of him than you are and I can’t wait to let the American public see it for themselves. We both know that this great country was built on prayer; our founding fathers prayed their way across the Atlantic, prayed to a victory over the British, prayed the Declaration of Independence onto the page, and prayed on the Indians. My only suggestion to you is to pray for more votes, you’re gonna need ‘em.
Forebodingly,
Sean “CF” Murphy
Republican candidate for President of the United States
“Standing Firm for America”
P.S. Tell Norris to watch his ass.
Filed under: Sean "CF" Murphy | Tagged: Arizona primary Republican faith pray congratulations f
Dear CF
I happen to know the CF stands for Cosmic Farsightedness, and even with only one good eye you see better than any Demon-crat who ever lived and the rest of the Republican field. Turn that omniscent eye upon the wasteland that is America’s educational system, its tax system, its pet licensing system and its parking meter follies and let truth and justice roll like a summer thunderstorm down an arroyo and sweep all the falsehood away. Stand Firm for All of Us.
Sincerely,
Tru Patriot