Don’t Trust Whitey!
We don’t know all that much about Rich Lee, but we can say this about him: Unlike the Washington politicians seeking the White House, Lee had the guts to answer the Project White House’s final call for candidates.
Rich tells Project White House he’s getting a late start on his campaign, but his nascent Web site announces:
RICH’08! VIVA RICH! FIGHT THE POWER 02/05/08! VIVA RICH!
My platform includes:
Universal health care
Fight global terrorism
Nationalize the oil companies, taking over Canada’s and Mexico’s oil fields, (I’ll give back the rest after the first 100 miles) making Sonora, British Columbia, and Puerto Rico as 51st,52nd and 53rd states.(because Mexico and BC are FULL of terrorists) and I have numerous enemies in Puerto Rico and I just want to keep an eye on them.
I guess we’ll keep the Canadian national anthem too because it’s a catchy tune and it’s easier to sing to than our National Anthem. And I like to hum (especially while eating soup) as many of you are aware.
We’ll keep the Toronto Maple Leafs and Vancouver Canucks and they can keep those bastards, the Montreal Canadians.
Oh, by the way,I’ll fix SSA also. yadayadayada
Any other suggestions are appreciated and if I like it, will be kept as a example of my own genius without due compensation. (get over it, run for Prez yourself you lazy bastards). Hoping to use this as a jumping off point for the job I really covet, commissioner of the National Hockey League.
Thanks for your support! This has been very much a grass roots campaign, my staff so far manned with hipster Greener interns and matched in incompetence only by Al Gore’s lawyers.
I’m looking forward to a graft filled 8 years and my eventual comfortable retirement to someplace warmer than the Western White House located in the beautiful Puget Sound. Why change what works? gimeaholla!
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